Be a man...

That's what she screamed at me during a recent mediation hearing. When I was recently laid off, I filed for a support decrease. It's legal, recommended and since unemployment only paid about 1/3 of what I was making, necessary.

Now let me explain this move to all the men bashers out there. The last time I was laid off and went on unemployment, I chose not to do this. Reason? Because it would cut the support amount by 2/3 and I was worried my daughter would go without. So I chose to not file for a support modification, even though unemployment was only paying about 80% of the current support order, and let my ex know. I told her if she could be patient until I found a job, I would not ask for a LEGAL decrease. She said OK. I found a job paying what I was making before, got the support order attached to it and started making regular payments. Lo and behold, I get a court document mailed to me where she filed for contempt of arrears. (See "A Fool and His Money)

I was not going through THAT again. And since the judge at the hearing "suggested" that the next time that happens, I file for a modification, this time I'm doing "as I've been told."

That was just over SEVEN MONTHS ago! Oh yeah, I'm off unemployment (dontcha' just love the construction industry?) and have a new job (that pays less than what I was making before) but the old order based on my previous earnings is still in effect!

So according to the "Melson Formula" I've been accumulating arrears for seven months now. This ought to be good. And to add insult to injury, at the mediation (while screaming out "I'm not a man") my ex decides it's time to hit me up for more cash. Apparently there is a small paragraph hidden within the support order that says I have to pay 58% of medical costs incurred beyond $350 spaent in the calendar year. I and since I have not made payments to this effect, she wants nine years of reimbursement. Well, ge whiz, the small fact that she was supposed to "communicate" with me (and hasn't) the medical expense incurred (including trips to the doctors office for upper respiratory infections -incurred while in a household full of smokers) is the major caveat. Even the mediator said she would not get this money. Never mind that, there's gold at the end of the rainbow! I guess she was ticked off that the mediator discounte her "child care" expenses. She's almost 14 and needs DAYCARE? (By the way this is at her maternal grandparents house)

So mediation is a bust, since she did not agree with the reduction, and off we go for a hearing in front of a Commisioner (one step below a Judge)

Ooops, one too many motions to hear. She got her court dates lumped into mine.

Wait a minute. I filed almost seven months ago and after the Court "lost" my original paperwork necessitating a refax and refile of the hearing, she only waits one month for HER hearing. What the hell!?

So we're at court waiting for "the hearing" and after waiting all day and not getting "heard", a court worker comes out and explains that the "court is sorry, but there were too many motions filed for the same time slot and since we were running late, you need to refile for another date."

Um, I thought this was MY hearing. What is she doing in MY time slot? No explanation there... but I get a nice form letter explaining that I need to schedule the "additional" motions for their own time slot.

I didn't know that I had control over scheduling! Jeez, and I would have moved my court date up a bit! Now how come I had to wait over six months for my hearing, but the court lumps in HER "addtional" motions in with mine and then the whole thing gets tossed for a later date because the case is "overloaded?" I smell discrimination here but I dare not say anything.

The court might find me in contempt...of it's stupidity.

Guess I'm not a man. 'Cause I don't like taking it in the rear.